January 24, 2003 GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE 11

bigtips

Is it rude to clean a friend's house while pet-sitting?

by M.T. 'the Big Tipper' Martone Dear Big Tipper,

For a Christmas present for a friend of mine, I offered to pet-sit a few times in this upcoming year.

The last time I was there I noticed that the house is pretty dirty. I like to clean, and would be happy to scrub the bathroom and defrost the freezer etc. while I'm there, but then I thought he might think I'm saying that his house is really dirty by doing that.

Do you think this might be offensive? Stay and Wash

Dear Scrubbing Buddy,

Why were you not sitting under my tree? I think that if your friend has a reputation for being hypersensitive and reading freaky nuances into things that you never intended, bring a tarp with you and sit on it while. you're at his house, and don't

do any cleaning.

But if that doesn't seem to be the case, and you've never heard him say that he has any sort of issues about it, he's probably just a busy, messy guy who would be highly excited to come home to a happy pet plus a spacious and glacier-free freezer.

Go for it, just stay out of his underwear drawer. I'd assume that anyone staying at my house in my absence would snoop, but you don't need to draw attention to that.

Dear Big Tipper,

My friend has a problem, and I'd really like to help her. Her clothing fits terribly, and although I think she thinks wearing tight clothing makes her look thinner, it really just makes her look extra fat and really bad. What can I do to help her look better?

Levi's Ain't No Sausage Casing

Dear She's Tight,

Shop with her. Find larger clothing online and forward her links. Flatter her when something looks great. Buy her clothing that you think will be attractive and really fit, and if you think she won't be able to handle the number, cut out the size tag.

Do not make fun of what she has or is wearing, because she may be really scared about moving up another size, or may not have money for new clothing. No matter what your body is like, do not make remarks about feeling fat yourself, because that can perpetuate her trying to hide herself. Keep the "she looks extra fat and really bad" feelings to yourself. You may just be a friend shedding a harsh light on an unflattering truth (her ill-fitting clothing, not her body), but don't we need our friends to spotlight our best features?

Dear Mary,

I'm a distracted person, and messy and disorganized. My New Year's resolution was to really get organized this year, and achieve my goal to make my house look like a person lives there and not some wild animal, the sort that lives in between piles of books.

Now that I've decided to do it, I'm exhausted How can I possibly look at my year on December 31, 2003 and have actually done it?

Brick Stack House

Dear Suffering From Piles,

Honey, that's a big job you need to break up into achievable tasks. Then, when you've

accomplished 90% of them by New Years's Eve, you can be quite proud of yourself.

If you have the resources, you might also want to engage a professional organizer. They can crack the whip and help keep you motivated. If you're doing it yourself, I suggest breaking your project down by rooms. Finish one room before you start the next.

Before you get more shelves or bins, consider getting rid of things to match the capacity for storage you already have. You'd be surprised at what you won't miss. If you don't want to throw something out, consider whether you'd be happy donating that tight clothing to a shelter, or finding a home for your not-to-be-read-again books with some appreciative friends.

Get rid of duplicate anything, and any resource you can find again online. Check in with me in December: I bet you'll have done a great job.

Dear Big Tipper,

BIG TIPS

I have artistic friends who give me jars of fruit they've canned, and cards they've made, and I want to make things too, but I have no idea where to start. I don't really know what to buy, and I don't have a lot of money and I haven't really made anything since I was in school, but I remember liking it. How can I jump-start my new life as a crafter extraordinare? Sign Me Up for the Craft

Dear Former Craft Dodger,

Stuff! Stuff! Stuff! Making stuff means you get to buy fun craft materials and have them around, and life is always full of possibility when you have a few bags of sequins to pull out in an emergency.

One inspirational resource I enjoy is the Church of Craft (www.churchofcraft.org/). Even if there isn't a branch that meets around your home, you can see what folks are working on by cruising the web site.

It's easiest for some folks to get into a craft groove by working with their friends. You don't have to be doing the same thing. Just tell your pals you're having a "Stitch and Bitch," get some snacks and bevs, and have everyone bring over their projects and work on them together. You can also all do the same project, which is great for raw material generation because you can pool your scraps and tools. That keeps costs low, and you have more people to help clean up.

I also love www.getcrafty.com for their "everyone can do it" ethos and the great howtos. If you want to craft on the cheap, haunt the bagged-item sections of thrift stores. You can pick up the effluvia and detritus of other folks crafting experiments for cheap: buttons, fabric, floss, batting, you name it, I've found it for less. If you don't have your own kicking around, ask friends to save old magazines for collages. You can also just keep your eyes peeled for sales at craft stores. They seem to always have something on sale, and sometimes just wandering the aisles gives you ideas for what you'd like to try.

Most of all, remember that crafting is supposed to be fun and relaxing. Don't make your first project a knitted afghan for your sister's wedding. (Although, if you can pull that off, right on!) Make a fabulous potholder and work up from there. Have a good time. Crafting is a noble calling we would all do well to heed. ✓

Send questions to the Chronicle, attention Big Tips, P.O. Box 5426, Cleveland 44101, online at www.bigtipsonline.com, e-mail to question@bigtipsonline.com or fax to 216-

631-1052.

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